Evolution of Dance

Behold, the Evolution of Dance...
What is most wonderful about this clip is how comedian Judson Laipply slides naturally from one dance into the next. He starts off with Elvis Presley and progresses all the way to NSYNC, hitting many musical milestones along the way. It's a very organic journey past Chuck Berry, Michael Jackson's Thriller, the Bangles' Walk Like an Egyptian, Mc Hammer, the Running Man, the Macarena and other favorites.

Santa Chronicles

Merry Merry Christmas!

Do you find it difficult to shop for presents for your loved ones? Stuck on what to get your colleagues or friends? Well imagine Santa's task! Santa deserves major points! Ever wonder what he's up to this time of year?

I invite you to check out a wonderful blog. It's called the Santa Claus Blog, and it is written by Santa. Yes, that guy. I had no idea how taxing his job is and all the different legal hurdles he has to go through to deliver his presents.

I love this blog, and I will be checking in all through the year.

The best gift for yourself: realizing you can't do it wrong!

I wanted to share a great email I received from my friend, Marie Forleo, of "The Good Life." Marie is a Life Coach, a Nike athlete, and a top level Crunch fitness trainer. She is also the author of a terrific book called How to Make Every Man Want You. An audio version will be available soon.

Marie wrote:

I've been speaking with my VIP Private clients and noticed a common set of themes arising. And when more than one person is feeling something, it's usually a cultural current. One of things that people are reporting is a mild sense of sadness. Nothing major or devastating, just a dash of melancholy during what's supposed to be one of the happiest times of the year. So if find yourself feeling a little blue, rest assured you're not alone.
During the Holiday season, we often find ourselves feeling unusually pressured to "do it right." Whether that means buying the "perfect" presents, going to the "best" parties, or having the "right" things to say, many of us are left feeling like we're not measuring up. Add to that the picture perfect images of couples and families you see on TV and it's not surprising we feel like we're coming up a bit short.
(Can you relate?)
Well I've got a suggestion. I think it's time to give ourselves a break, have a good laugh and recognize we can't do it WRONG.
Really.
It's an impossibility for you to do the Holidays wrong. Whether you're having a quiet time at home, a fiesta with friends, or an adventure with your crazy-yet-nevertheless-entertaining family, it will all turn out exactly as it should.
The only question is whether or not you'll give yourself license to relax and enjoy the ride.
Remember, you can only be exactly as you are in each moment. That means you're a perfect you. (Yes YOU!) So accept this as your official "permission slip" to take a deep breath and relax into the rest of your Holiday. Trust that the plans you've made (or not made) and the presents you've bought (or not bought) are wonderfully and deliciously perfect.
If you find your mind racing, slow down and melt into the moment. Be wherever you are. Listen to the people you're with. Enjoy whatever unfolds - even if it's different that what you expect.
I wish you a blessed Holiday season and send a ton of love to you and yours,
xox
Marie

If you would like a copy of Marie's book, you can download the digital version here that comes with a bonus video, transcript and additional ebook!http://www.makeeverymanwantyou.com/

ROFL Cat

A humor break is a wonderful tool to get back into the flow.

If you like cute kittens, check out the rofl cat website here.
If you don't, what the heck is wrong with you? LOL

Enjoy!

Men, Money & Chocolate

A very dear English friend of mine, Menna van Praag, has published a lovely and whimsical book that inspires and delights.

Men, Money & Chocolate is a fable that tells the story of Maya, a young girl who is inspired to go for her life with excellence after an encounter with a mysterious stranger.

Menna explains in her own words,

A little while ago I had an experience that flipped me into three days of enlightenment. Everything became clear. For the first time I could really see people, and knew what they were thinking. Most importantly of all, I could see what stopped them being truly happy.
On the third day I heard three words: Men, Money and Chocolate. It was the pursuit of love, security and pleasure that so often caused people to lose themselves and their chance of experiencing joy.
That day I started to write a book about my experience. Men, Money & Chocolate tells the story of a woman who learns the secrets to enlightenment and discovers how to get what she really wants without losing herself in the process.

You can read more about the book, as well as preview the first chapter on the official website here.

To purchase Men, Money & Chocolate, click here.

The Four Agreements

Having read and adored The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz, I was very excited to read The Four Agreements. Ruiz is a Nagual (master) in the Toltec tradition. The Toltec were scientists and artists from Southern Mexico who formed a society to conserve and expand upon the spiritual knowledge and practices of their ancestors. Less of a religion than a way of life, the Toltec saw the sacred in the ordinary, much like followers of Taoism. As Ruiz explains, "Toltec considered science and spirit to be the same since all energy, whether material or ethereal, is derived from the same source and governed by the same universal laws."

In his book, Ruiz shares four agreements, or simple guiding principles, that can free us to live with well-being and true happiness.

1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
2. Don't Take Anything Personally
3. Don't Make Assumptions
4. Always Do Your Best

In order to discover Heaven on earth, the author explains that we need only keep our word with ourselves and live with integrity. This will support our living in the present moment. By telling the truth and being with life as it actually unfolds, rather than disagreeing and investing pointlessly in how we would prefer it to be, we can be in harmony with our lives. You can learn more about this wonderful book on Ruiz' website here.

What I appreciated most about The Four Agreements is that its advice is so practical and achievable, even in a challenging environment such as New York City. Another book with practical wisdom that can put you in touch with the magic available in the present moment is Being Here: Modern Day Tales of Enlightenment, by Ariel & Shya Kane. Both Ruiz's and the Kanes' books have touched my life by supporting me in being the author of my life, and I recommend them wholeheartedly.

To purchase The Four Agreements, click Here.
To purchase Being Here, click here.

Musical Connections

I was going through my friend, Terri's blog, and found something neat. Her blog (all about jazz and jazz viewing opportunities in NYC) also mentions Transformation. Now Terri is a lovely woman, very kind & self-effacing. But I can't say I knew much about her, other than that I liked her & that she had traveled to Italy recently. Reading her blog, however, I got to meet her in a whole new way. And I am bowled over by her passion for music!

Also, since she is traditionally quiet during our Monday Night Alive discussions, I never knew what impact they had on her life, but I have always been happy to see her friendly smile amid the company of our friends. It was so cool to read about her experience of Transformation in her own words. I recommend Terri's blog in general for anyone interested in the NY music scene. And check out this post to read someone else's perspective on Transformation and self-discovery.

Happy Thanksgiving

For a few Thanksgiving chuckles, check out this very funny video on UTube. It is of a turkey singing a parody of Gloria Gaynor's disco hit, "I will survive." It is quite hysterical and a real crowd pleaser.

I'm very excited to celebrate Thanksgiving at my Mom's house. We will be celebrating with my Aunt Joanna & my cousin Giorgia, who drove up from Maryland. My cousin, Gayleen, her husband, Skippy & their son, Dakota also joined us.

My Mom & Aunt took over the kitchen & sent Giorgia & me out for a walk. I am doubly blessed because one of my favorite family memebers is also one of my dearest friends. Pretty convenient, because it makes family reunion time very warm & fuzzy. I admire Giorgia because she is always true to herself & has her attention on others rather than herself. She is a generous listener and genuinely invests herself in making the world a better place. We had such a wonderful walk & talked about so many things. We discovered a beautiful tree in the neighborhood. The leaves looked on fire and capped a strangely braided trunk.



By the time we got back from our walk, it was tme to set the table and make the salad and other last minute details before the rest of the family arrived. We did not overeat, but enjoyed small portions of varied grub. After dinner, we had a family game of Scrabble. Here is a picture of a portion of our large dinner table.

So what are you grateful for this year? Big or small, what about your life in this moment do you want to celebrate? Is it your health? A loving relationship? Your job? Family? Wonderful friends? Do you have a great vacation planned? Did a child trust you with a secret? Does your favorite pair of pants fit again?

I'm grateful for my supportive family & amazing friends. I'm so happy for the guidance of my life coaches, Ariel & Shya Kane, and the entire Transformational community. My life is very wonderful and it's nice to take a moment and give thanks for that.

Comet Holmes

My friend, Eric, an astrophysicist at Columbia University, has been tracking a very interesting phenomenon: a very bright comet visible with the naked eye, named Comet Holmes. Latest update from Eric: the Ever Expanding Comet Holmes is now Bigger than the Sun!

You can find out more about Comet at the nasa website here: http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/astropix.html
or view more pictures at http://spaceweather.com/comets/gallery_holmes_page20.htm?PHPSESSID=3dgje7n9jm4l23gk9pi5tsl135

To learn more about the origin of the comet, you can check out these earlier links he sent me.

Eric wrote:
Comet Fans!

Follow the amazing explosion of Comet Homes with this series of photos and short explanations from Astronomy Picture of the Day:

APOD: 2007 October 26 - Comet Holmes in Outburst

APOD: 2007 October 29 - A Telescopic View of Erupting Comet Holmes

APOD: 2007 November 3 - Golden Comet Holmes

APOD: 2007 November 5 - Comet Holmes Grows a Tail

Currently, Comet Holmes is about 1/3 the size of the moon and has started to grow a tail. It's moving away from the Sun and is now almost 3 times the Earth-Sun distance, but still bright enough to see by unaided eyes from Central Park in NYC last night!

This is all happening now, so go out to a dark area tonight (or the next cloudless night) and look for the fuzzy apparition in the Constellation Perseus (named after the Greek hero who slew the monster, Medusa.)

Here's where to look: http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/home/10862521.html

Enjoy,
Eric

Many thanks to Eric who is always ready to share his passion for the heavens & his zest for life with the rest of us. He is one of the most consistently present people I know and a delight to be around. To read another adventure starring Eric, check out this earlier post.

Run's House Rules

I was draped on my couch feeing sorry for myself because I woke up with a bad cold and had to cancel Marathon brunch plans, when inspiration came in an unusual form. I was flipping through the channels and paused on MTV. The network was displaying a marathon of its own of episodes of "Run's House," a reality show featuring ex-rapper turned reverend, Joseph "Run" Simmons of Run-DMC. Now I was a Run-DMC fan back in the day (Remember "Walk this Way", "Mary, Mary" and You be Illin' "?) so I thought I would check the show out. Run, his wife Justine, and their 2 daughters (Angela & Vanessa) & 3 sons (JoJo, Diggy & Russel II) live in a Mc Mansion in suburban New Jersey.

On the episode I was watching, the youngest boy, Russel II, kept swiping his older brother, Diggy's clothes. He would then stroll around the house in them. Run & his eldest son, JoJo, thought that the baby was jealous of Diggy's newfound popularity with the ladies. And by ladies, I mean middle-school suburban NJ girls :-) While he & Russel II were trying to play video games, a half dozen girls called looking for the very suave Diggy.

Run tried to cheer up his youngest son by taking him on a shopping trip to "Diggify" his wardrobe. He was careful to stay within a reasonable budget, and it was refreshing to see that there are celebrities who sill understand the value of money and are willing to impress this lesson upon their children. Score one for Reverend Run.

Back home, Russel II swaggers into the living room to the delight of his very supportive family. But Diggy gives his brother the benefit of his wisdom. He tells him that he gets that it's not about the ladies, but that Russel just wants to fit in at school and be popular like Diggy. He tells him, however, that he has to do it by being himself & not by copying anyone else. Score one for Diggy.

They have different family sayings like, "Squashed." Angela & Vanessa have a disagreement over their collaborative work for the family's clothing label. These two young ladies express themselves directly & honestly & with respect for each other. At the end of their discussion, they make sure that the topic is now "Squashed," which means their disagreement is truly resolved b/c it is forgiven & will be left in the past. They have a little hand gesture routine that goes along with it. Score one for Angela & Vanessa.

The values this family has and the way the members communicate & show their caring was absolutely inspiring. In a world where swag reigns and Sweet Sixteen is anything but, where celebrities encourage their children to run wild and conspicuous consumption has reached obscene heights, it is reassuring to know there are families like Run & Justine's. I can't wait to see what happens next week!

The Police concert at MSG

I only really discovered The Police just as they were breaking up. The Fall of '87 Columbia University freshman facebook poll listed U2, The Police, and Madonna as our class'es favorite artists. But I attended my first Sting concert a year later, for the tour for his first solo record, "The Dream of the Blue turtles," still one of my all-time favorite albums. In the interrim, I have made up for lost time & now own every Police album, single & DVD you could imagine. I know the words to pretty much every Police song ever written by Sting and have seen him perform in a Broadway musical. So when I recently heard The Police were getting back together and were touring, I knew I had to be see them.

While spiraling up the stairs at MSG at a casual 8:10pm last night, my friends & I thought for a moment that Sting had gone on early, so we started sprinting to our seats at the top of Tower D. Then we realized we did not know the tune, and realized it had to be the opening act. It turns out, our confusion was justified as "Fiction Plane," the band opening for The Police, is fronted by Sting's son, Joe Sumner. There is a raspy, pregnant quality to Sumner's voice that really sounds like his delicious Dad.

My group felt Sumner did better on the ballads than on the heavy rock songs his band played. But his voice really is quite wonderful, and his lyrics are quite meaningful. Unfortunately, I could not understand him during the concert. It was only when I googled him today on My Space, that I got more of a feeling of what "Fiction Plane" is all about. He ended the set with his hit, Two Sisters which seemed to suit his voice very well. The apple doesn't fall very far from the tree, and Sumner is committed to social & political commentary. His tracks Hate and Death Machine remind me of the pointedly barbed Invisible Sun. Sumner doesn't quite have the presence or the personality to carry off MSG, yet... but I would love to see where this fellow's music is headed and feel that I will very much enjoy witnessing the journey.

The stadium once again grew dark and the crowd shushed before exploding in screams as bright white spotlights fired up the stage and two well known figures came up and took their places - Andy Summers at stage left and Stewart Copeland on his platform behind his drum set. The cheers and roars reached a crescendo as Sting walked onstage in a white tank top. The Police opened with Synchronicity II and the video screens popped with the primary colors that dappled the covers of the LP. They then segued into Message in a Bottle.


Most of the crowd seemed to know every word of every song by heart and was happy to oblige Sting's request to chime in. The consensus was that he played EVERYTHING. You name any popular police tune; he played it. Don't Stand So Close to Me, Walking in Your Footsteps, Driven to Tears, De Do Do Do, De Da da da, Voices Inside my head, So Lonely...

The video display editing was very well done. There were a number of screens displaying 3 separate images from the different camera feeds at any one time. I must confess, I was glued to the Sting cam, but I managed to tear myself away when the focus shifted to a close up of Andy Summers' hands during a particularly strong solo riff.

Stewart Copeland's strong performance belied his anemic look. At times, we feared he was going to explode or faint. But as usual, he provided the amazing backbone of the performance. The audience cheered when he moved to another platform to use a different drum set-up for "King of Pain" and "I'll be Wrapped Around Your Finger" that allowed him to produce those unmistakable xylophone-y sounds.

"I'll be Wrapped Around Your Finger" was probably my favorite number. If you know the video, you will remember the gorgeous effect of the spiral candle display that completely surrounded the musicians. The lighting design team should be congratulated for recreating a similar effect with circular spotlights. They swirled on the floor & just looked amazing.

The Police played Roxanne during the end of the concert and drove the audience wild. The band played 2 encores. The first encore brought us Can't Stand Losing You. The second encore delivered Every Breath You Take. They ended with the interesting choice of All I Want is to Be Next to You. It was bittersweet for me to see the video display during the last encore set. Some of the screens played footage from the Synchronicity video and showed a much younger trio.

They are obviously in great shape to have played two solid hours without a break. Sting treated us to a few of his signature jumps, and he graciously allowed Andy Summers to take the final leap off the drum platform. Then they all walked to the front of the stage and held hands as they took their last bow.

It had all the elements of a fantastic concert: performers with enormous talent, an awesome repertoire, amazing visuals, a charismatic and gorgeous front-man. Everyone in my group felt that it was one of the best concert we had ever seen in our lives. Except for Rudy. It was his absolute favorite. But, then again, it was his first concert ever!

Wintuk Wow

Tonight, my dear friend, Micheline, invited me to see the newest Cirque du Soleil production, Wintuk. The show was an acrobatic circus performance about a little boy who goes on a magical journey to strange lands in order to see snow.

Everything about the evening was magical. The show was amazing. The skill of the acrobats and their generous performances were tremendous.

Each movement of the performers was so intricate that they could not afford not to be present. One mis-step and they would injure not only themselves but their fellow performers as well. Being in the moment for them is not optional, but rather a requirement in order to operate at the level of mastery which they need to accomplish their acrobatic feats. In the beginning of the show, for example, a robber steals a package and runs away. He is chased and caught by a policeman on a bicycle. The cop & robber perform an intricate dance in which the cop goes on one tire & jumps around the torso of the robber who is on his back on the floor. At one point, the cop on the bike jumps around the thief's torso and hops on his front tire from one side of his head to the other, over his face!

It was quite engaging to be in the presence of so many gifted people totally vibrant & completely in the moment. They gave so much of themselves, and I was moved by their artistry and spirit.

Miche & I found the audience amusing. A typical jaded NY audience sat while onstage, performers jumped backwards & forwards, juggled 7 pins, leapt into the air. The smaller children were enraptured, but many of the older children and adults seemed unfazed by the magic going on in front of them. At one point, Miche asked me "What do they have to do to get real applause from this NY audience?"

At the end of the show, paper snowflakes floated down over the entire theater, covering performers and audience members alike. Just then I felt about six years old, and I'm not too proud to admit I had tears rolling down my cheeks.

I am so grateful to my friend, Micheline, for inviting me. Truth be told, she had to ask me twice. At first, I believed the story that I was afraid of the circus, but then I chose to put that aside and boy am I glad I did!

Halloween Bash

I celebrated Halloween for the third and final time at Columbus 72, Swing dancing to music provided by the always fabulous Joe Battaglia & the NY Big Band. Joe & his "boys" were wonderful and provided hours of great music to enjoy on the dance floor or from the sidelines. Many thanks to Joe for always giving us his best and really bringing Big Band music & Latin music to life with excellence.

Tonight, I was a cow-girl sheriff. I was ridin' the fences, roping doggies, hanging with my good friend Micheline, aka Marie-Antoinette. We had a good time watching the crowd, enjoying the various costumes. Our friend, Andy, put together a wonderful wizard costume complete with a glowing orb that changed colors. Stylish Suzanne used her talents for dressing store windows & designing sets to scare up an undead flapper outfit. We were dazzled by Zorro, one of my favorite regular dancers to admire, who is aways entertaining to watch.

Halloween has always been one of my favorite days of the year. I realized that it is a day where people give themselves permission: permission to have fun, to be creative, to express themselves, to explore a different side of themselves, to be zany, to disregard their thoughts about what other people (including ourselves!) will say. Now, we all have an inner "governor" who can be more or less loud & bossy, depending upon how much we invest in what others think. On Halloween, though, folks seem to be willing to give the "governor" a blessed night off. Of course, once we recognize that we have this "governor," we can choose to operate as if everyday is Halloween. Um... minus the wigs or skimpy skirts -or not... depending upon your line of work or hobbies, I suppose. ;-) Awareness, frees us from the conversation in our head.

For me, this freedom definitely followed in my dancing. I was able to ditch my thoughts & pay attention to the music, rather than my judgments about my lack of proficiency at dancing. I was also able to try different styles from Swing to Hip Hop and just have FUN with it.

Fellow dance enthusiasts Calvin, Suzanne, Will & friends were there to cast a spell on their dance partners.

Book Promotion: "Being Here"

I am quite excited because one of my favorite books, "Being Here", by Ariel & Shya Kane, is doing well on the Amazon charts. My friend, Valerie, let me know about a special promotion, and I thought I would pass the information along. The book is lovely to read and would make a fabulous Christmas gift! I invite you to check out "Being Here".

Valerie writes,

I’d like to let you know about a special promotion for an incredible book written by Ariel & Shya Kane, award-winning authors, seminar leaders, consultants and my personal coaches and friends. I have never encountered anything as effective, profound and enlivening as the Kanes’ work and it has made a tremendous impact on my life. Their book, “Being Here, Modern Day Tales of Enlightenment,” was just released this September and is now available in stores and online. This book - a simple yet extraordinary collection of stories that inspire, amuse, entertain and enlighten - has already been met with critical acclaim.

If you buy this book on Amazon.com this WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 7th, you will receive many free gifts, including the book in downloadable audio format! Here is the link where you can get all of the details:

http://www.ask-inc.com/specialoffer/

You just have to purchase the book on Wednesday, November 7th on Amazon to get the bonus gifts. This is an incredible opportunity to discover a new possibility for well-being everywhere in your life. This book, and the Kane's work, is so simple yet so powerful. This new book is an excellent resource that supports you all areas of your life.

I'm off to see the Wizard

After a great time at the , "Living a Magical Life" workshop, it was time to celebrate Halloween again. Here I am with Andy the Scarecrow & my little dog too.

Halloween at the Yale Club

A small group of us attended a lively function to usher in this year's Halloween festivities. Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. I find it very magical and filled with possibility. You can literally be anyone for a day. Way cool! This party at the Yale club was a wonderful way to start off the festivities.

Here is Druce surrounded by Glam Girl & Marilyn Monroe.

The Mom is always greener on the other side of the fence.

I had a really wild conversation w/ my Mom I wanted to share. Our conversations (or my story of them) usually went this way:

Alex: “Hello?”
Vilma: “Hello sweetheart, I’m reading this fascinating article on the discovery of pulsars in astronomy & their relation to narrowing down the age of the universe, while watching the military channel w/ one eye & Masterpiece Theater’s stunning rendition of all 23 hours of Wagner’s Gotterdammerung w/ the other. How about You?”
Alex: “Um, That’s nice. Turn on Channel 24. The Girls Next Door is on about Hugh Heffner & his 2 girlfriends & his main squeeze, Holly. Today they’re going to Aspen to ski.”
Vilma: “That sounds odious! How can you waste your time w/ such drivel!”
Alex: “Gee Mom, you’re so judgmental. I wish you could be open to new things. You’re a stinky person. I gotta go, bye.”

But the other day, the conversation went more like this:

Vilma: “Oh, I’m so upset, I have been looking everywhere for the song that Jordin girl sang on American Idol. I think she’s magnificent! And only 17!! Do you know where I can find it? Can you download her performance for me on the Internet? And did you hear about Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt separating b/c she won’t stay home w/ the children. I am aghast!”
Alex: “Ma, what happened to you? Who are you? When was the last time you read Proust or Tolstoy? What happened to the equation of a slope you were working on? How have you sunk so low?”

My reaction was so wild b/c it revealed some funny things to me about myself:

a) be careful what you wish for…
b) Truth is, my Mom is darned if she doesn’t and still darned if she does. When I am being a brat, nothing she can do will please me b/c at that moment I am "un-please-able." How does she put up w/ me when I am being bratty?
c) I can sometimes, once in a while, only on days ending in a “y”, be judgmental... Yup, you heard it here first!

This time, when I saw the brattiness & the judgments, instead of cowering in shame, beating myself up & doing nothing to further our relationship, I started laughing at myself & fessed up to my Mom. We had a good time, relaxed and had fun with each other. Wait till I tell her Brangelina put little Maddox at my old school...

Transformation is having fun at a Mets game.

Ok, what's so unusual about having fun at a baseball game, you might ask? It is America's favorite pastime, after all. And how can having fun be Transformational? Well, consider that I have been living with a story that I didn't like baseball for um.. well longer than I care to reveal.

Now I was all set not to enjoy myself. I even packed a book and a sour expression along with my lunch. But the truth is, once I got to good old Shea stadium, I got caught up in the moment & forgot my story. Luckily for me :-) I'm sure it didn't hurt that it was a very tumultuous game complete w/ a no hitter for the NY Mets all the way to the eighth inning, plus a big fight on the field. But the key is that I was willing to give up a few things in order to enjoy myself. The two I noticed the most were giving up listening to my story & giving up my preference.

• Giving up my story

What's a story, anyway? It's a belief system you formed in the past that may or may not be relevant or accurate any longer. It could be a set of rules we put together for ourselves (musicians are cheaters) or a belief system we absorbed while growing up in a certain culture (I love you; I made you pasta). It could be a generalization we came up with after only one positive or negative experience (all dogs bite). Very often, they resulted as a way of sparing us from fear or embarrassment (avoid dogs & musicians). Our stories can be funny and innocuous. But when left unexamined, they can limit our lives by closing us off to limitless possibilities. How can we shed a story? Just by (1) looking at it without judging it & (2) asking ourselves is this really true or accurate for me in this moment of now? If it is, great! And if it's not, also great! And you will find that without "doing" anything, it will melt away. But what if it comes back? No problem, just repeat steps 1 & 2 above.

So a story I had growing up was that baseball was boring, a waste of time, and totally lacking in strategy. It's what I heard growing up around me at home & at school. I went to a French school, where soccer was the only sport that counted and baseball was considered slowww & pointless. Once I got to the stadium and surrendered to the excitement, I was willing to give up my tale that baseball was tedious, and my story disappeared.

• Giving up my preferences

What are our preferences, if we are willing to be honest? Our preferences are our bratty nature announcing to the world what we like & what we don't like. But guess what? the world, or the great creator, or whatever deity you believe in (God, Buddha, Allah, Julio Iglesias, or the curious deity worshipped by the pastafarians in The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster,) doesn't really and truly care about your preferences. Just because you would prefer it not rain on the day you wash your car or get your hair done, doesn't mean that you can actually affect barometric pressure. So you can either get caught up in your preferences, and waste your energy wishing things were different than they are, or you can get interested in the reality of what is actually going on around you. Listening to your preferences as though they really mattered, is a little bit like letting your inner 2 yr. old run your life.

I have recently made a game of watching my preferences, without judging them, and seeing how those little devils with agendas of their own try to manipulate situations. It's been amusing to see how I operate, and the neat thing is that by observing & not judging, I'm aware of the mechanism and can now choose to sidestep it. This has given me a higher degree of freedom & helped liberate me from the 2 yr. old in all of us.

Saying No to my Automatic No

Tonight, a few of us had drinks at a midtown spot, Pera. Very nice locale, good wine list, great company. What made this particular happy hour so extraordinary was a simple question posed by my awesome friend, Eric. We had been listening to our friend, Emmanuelle, tell us about her amazing honeymoon with her honey, Luis, in Tanzania. She stayed in romantic camps and saw luscious scenery and took a safari scattered with exotic animals. Listening to her I was thinking, "Ooooh, I would love to go to Africa. Africa's far. Africa is wild. I wonder how many vaccinations I would need to go to Africa. Oooh, but I really would like to go. But Africa must be really expensive. And I don't speak the various languages. Gee, it's too bad I can't go to Africa..." At that moment, Eric asked a simple, but brilliant question. He turned to the rest of us and said, are you ready for this? "Hey, why don't we go to Africa?"

Now we are a pretty well-traveled bunch. Between us we have been to Nepal, Italy, Austria, Costa Rica, Sweden, France, Australia, India, and Hungary, just to name a few destinations. We've seen fjords in Alaska, attended Nobel prize ceremonies, logged telescope time at space observatories all over the world, spent countless months at the Louvre if one were to add up all our visits, danced on tables on the isle of Capri, trekked through the Himalayas, and seen so many wonders, natural as well as man-made that have taken our collective breath away.

Yet, I found myself automatically listening to a conversation inside my head that was all ready to come up with dozens of reasons why I couldn't do something. It was my automatic "No!" that kicked in before I even knew what was happening. When I listen to my automatic No, what I really want and what I can truly accomplish usually doesn't stand a chance. I realized that if I let the automatic No run my life, I will rob myself of some amazing experiences. I might turn down a super job offer, or not give a potentially terrific relationship a chance or not even sign up for a breast cancer awareness marathon, or not even consider a trip to Africa with great people.

So thanks to Eric, we started asking questions. We found out when to go (June, because it's winter there); how to book (Emmanuelle is giving us the number of a travel agent based in Tanzania); what to see (we started a list on a cocktail napkin). Most of all, I saw that my thoughts & mental chatter don't have to run my life. As soon as I became aware of this mechanical response, the non judgmental seeing of it was enough to gain my independence from it. Pretty cool.

Transformation is like driving with clean spark plugs.

While inviting my friend in London to a seminar Ariel & Shya Kane are holding there in October, I was trying to describe to him what Transformation is and what its benefits have been for me. I came up with this analogy to share:

When I was little, my Mom drove a red 1973 Alfa Romeo GTW Sprint. A Beautiful car… but very high maintenance… There was a problem w/ the fuel injection system, and so every few weeks, one of the cylinders would shut down because the spark plugs would get so dirty. So we had to keep an extra set of plugs in the boot (trunk) & a steel brush. Eventually, we would have to pull over by the side of the road, wait for the engine to cool, yank out the dirty spark plugs, and replace them with the set we had brushed clean. Then we would continue on our way, and WOW, the difference was amaaaazing! It was like driving a totally different car. (Yes, my Mom let me drive at 12; I would sit on her lap & she would work the pedals & tell me when to shift gears. What larks! but I digress…)

As she got more adept at listening to the sound of the engine, she was able to tell when it was time to change the plugs before we left our garage, and thus we were spared having to make the switch on the shoulder of the Long Island Expressway.

Anyhoo, transformation is just like that. -like having all your cylinders working beautifully!

If you will be in London on October 8th or October 13th and want to check out the Kanes' "Living in the Moment" workshops, check out this info.

Mauro

Mauro deserves his own post. He just does.

One of the best things about Mauro is that he is unflappably cheerful. Another is that he can be silly & revel in it. But he is also smart & efficient & understanding & of service & fun to know.

Mauro is like a bag of assorted jelly beans but with only the good kind -you know, without the more experimental flavors, like "cumin" or "onion."

Mauro is one of my favorite people in the whole world. He's awesome because when I get into a silly accent mood & go to the front desk to ask for "a skeedool for the trens to Neppels", he will hand me the schedule without batting an eye & answer "Chertainly, chignorina." And that's all there is to it.

Heatwave

Today was one for the record books. A hot scirocco wind from the African continent lapped at the coastline like a devilish tongue. Even being on a boat offered no respite. At one point, it felt like an army of tiny hairdryers were pointing directly at us, and it was even hard to breathe.

Everyone who could, sought solace in the cool waters of the Mediterranean.

The Sun Also Rises

Positano attracts all sorts of vacationers because of its many charms. This week, Larry Ellison came to our tiny harbor on his mega-yacht, Rising Sun. I snapped this picture as we motored past on our much more humble vessel. I did not have a wide-angle lens big enough to capture the whole magnificent ship, but trust me, she was a beaut!

In front of the yacht, a few curious local children paid a visit on their materassino.

Sultry Nights

An appuntmento with friends. A limoncello at the cafe overlooking the bay. A plate of spaghetti sciue' sciue'. This is how the most pleasant of evenings are spent here in Postano.

At left, the brazen edges of islands of Li Galli flirt with the horizon. A visiting schooner lights up the water with its three imposing masts. I took this photo on a passeggiata from one of my favorite vantage points just up the road from my hotel.

Sunny Days

A hot scirocco wind has been blowing for days, making the entire Amalfi coast feel more like Casablanca than the Italian region of La Campania. Cats and dogs hide in the shade and seek relief in the cool mosaic tiles that make up much of the shop floors and private terraces of Positano. The hum of scooters and vespas have been silenced during the peak hours of the sun, their owners preferring to laze the time in a cafe or at la spiaggia. Essential errands have been relegated to early morning hours or until after the sun has begun its daily descent behind the mountains of Punta Reginella. Human traffic is even slower than usual, and it is practically impossible to spend more than a dozen minutes outside unless one is basking in the sea or a pool, such as the one at my hotel, Le Sirenuse. In Church or in the piazzas, the ladies have launched an armada of fans against the stifling heat. The colors of the fabrics and the intricate patterns of the lace are incredibly beautiful.

Transformation Floats

A moment to tell you a sweet story.
My friends, Felice & Oliviera, have been fellow hotel guests and occasional passengers on the hotel's wooden cruiser, Il San Antonio II, for the past few years. Over the years ,we have developed the enviable ritual of setting out from the mossy dock at 10:30 almost every morning and ferrying out to a pristine part of the coastline. The skipper drops the anchor a few hundred feet from shore, and the guests, plop lazily one by one, into the cobalt water. The more daring of us don flippers and a mask & snorkel and follow schools of Guaracini back to the shoals and rocks that host varied sea life such as sponges, "sea-tomatoes" and sea urchins, among other creatures.
What I didn't know was that Oliviera did not know how to swim & was actually quite afraid of the water. In fact, her husband had nestled a pool in their backyard over 30 years ago, which she had never gotten the courage to exploit. Felice had even hired swim instructors for her on numerous occasions, but she always refused to go past her knees.
In the past, I have coaxed a few other friends into the crystal blue waters of the Mediterranean and was willing to do the same for Oliviera. The sea is so refreshing and calm that I thought it was a shame for her to miss out on the fun: the sweet relief of the cool water after the hot sunny trip; the luxurious feeling of the salty water playing about her skin; the delight of looking down at her own feet distorted by the water's perspective. So I invited her to come in with me and promised I would not let go of her hand, no matter what.
To everyone's great delight, she agreed to put on a life preserver & venture into the watery depths. I could tell she was a bit nervous, but I was just there with her and reminded her to breathe once in a while, when I noticed she was holding her breath. She knew I understood and respected her fear, but I wanted to support her in overcoming it and in taking part in the pleasures she had been missing out on in the past. We did a two-handed water waltz that first day, but by the end of her stay, she was able to let go of both my hands and paddle herself about with me treading water near her.
I really admired her courage because the water is quite deep where we were, and it was no small feat for her to climb down the ladder clad in her life-ring that first dip. She was so happy and proud of herself and the first thing she did when back on board was to call her grandkids and tell them what she and la mia Alessandra had done.

Positano Friends

One of my favorite things about Positano are my wonderful friends.



Mariano, with the big smile, is one of my best friends in the world. He studied at NYU's Tisch School of the Arts and worships Al Pacino. One of his prime concerns every year is to find out if he is as dreamy as the previous year.




Silvia and Stefano are amazing friends and two of the nicest people I know. I love them because they are so kind & sweet & love animals. They have 2 adorable cats, Choo Choo & Lisca. In this photo, Silvia is dangling a medal Stefano has just won on top of his head. His team won a local soccer tournament, and we celebrated that evening at a friend's winebar.

Food

Lunch & dinner are some of my favorite parts of my vacation. Yum! The food at the hotel is quite nice. But nothing quite beats the authentic flavors & home grown ingredients of the local trattorie. Some of my favorites: da Bruno, La Taverna del Leone, da Vincenzo. (Disclosure: I might be biased. I have known Vincenzo since we were children, and he is molto bello.)


I love pasta. I love pasta in the completely visceral sense that I wish I could miniaturize myself & jump into a bowl of fresh penne & pomodoro & roll around, hiding in the little tubes of pasta. I'd slurp my way about & jump up & down just like in one of those inflatable kiddie rides at a street fair. That would be so cool!

Um... I also like chocolate cake. A lot. A lot a lot. Well, chocolate of any kind, really. My ferret, Kiki, used to be able to stand on the rim of a jar of Nutella placed sideways for her and actually stick her whole head into the jar. Lucky Kiki! Um... her own jar. Sure, yes. Not the other one we kept for company, of course not! (Oh gee, I hope I don't start receiving a lot of comments from folks who had Nutella sandwiches at my house back in the day...)