Saying No to my Automatic No

Tonight, a few of us had drinks at a midtown spot, Pera. Very nice locale, good wine list, great company. What made this particular happy hour so extraordinary was a simple question posed by my awesome friend, Eric. We had been listening to our friend, Emmanuelle, tell us about her amazing honeymoon with her honey, Luis, in Tanzania. She stayed in romantic camps and saw luscious scenery and took a safari scattered with exotic animals. Listening to her I was thinking, "Ooooh, I would love to go to Africa. Africa's far. Africa is wild. I wonder how many vaccinations I would need to go to Africa. Oooh, but I really would like to go. But Africa must be really expensive. And I don't speak the various languages. Gee, it's too bad I can't go to Africa..." At that moment, Eric asked a simple, but brilliant question. He turned to the rest of us and said, are you ready for this? "Hey, why don't we go to Africa?"

Now we are a pretty well-traveled bunch. Between us we have been to Nepal, Italy, Austria, Costa Rica, Sweden, France, Australia, India, and Hungary, just to name a few destinations. We've seen fjords in Alaska, attended Nobel prize ceremonies, logged telescope time at space observatories all over the world, spent countless months at the Louvre if one were to add up all our visits, danced on tables on the isle of Capri, trekked through the Himalayas, and seen so many wonders, natural as well as man-made that have taken our collective breath away.

Yet, I found myself automatically listening to a conversation inside my head that was all ready to come up with dozens of reasons why I couldn't do something. It was my automatic "No!" that kicked in before I even knew what was happening. When I listen to my automatic No, what I really want and what I can truly accomplish usually doesn't stand a chance. I realized that if I let the automatic No run my life, I will rob myself of some amazing experiences. I might turn down a super job offer, or not give a potentially terrific relationship a chance or not even sign up for a breast cancer awareness marathon, or not even consider a trip to Africa with great people.

So thanks to Eric, we started asking questions. We found out when to go (June, because it's winter there); how to book (Emmanuelle is giving us the number of a travel agent based in Tanzania); what to see (we started a list on a cocktail napkin). Most of all, I saw that my thoughts & mental chatter don't have to run my life. As soon as I became aware of this mechanical response, the non judgmental seeing of it was enough to gain my independence from it. Pretty cool.