Quotes from Fr. Anthony de Mello

While checking out an interesting website called Soul Surgery (see previous post,) I came across this very insightful author, Fr. Anthony de Mello. The creator of of the blog, Carol L. Skolnick, reprinted some quotations from De Mello in her post. I thought they were so right on and consistent with living with well-being that I wanted to share some of them as well.

"It is a great mystery that though the human heart longs for Truth, in which alone it finds liberation and delight, the first reaction of human beings to Truth is one of hostility and fear!"

"There is only one cause of unhappiness: the false beliefs you have in your head, beliefs so widespread, so commonly held, that it never occurs to you to question them."

"As you identify less and less with the 'me.' you will be more at ease with everybody and with everything. Do you know why? Because you are no longer afraid of being hurt or not liked. You no longer desire to impress anyone. Can you imagine the relief when you don't have to impress anybody anymore? Oh, what a relief. Happiness at last!"

"Wisdom tends to grow in proportion to one's awareness of one's ignorance."

"Suffering points out that there is falsehood somewhere. Suffering occurs when you clash with reality. When your illusions clash with reality when your falsehoods clash with the truth, then you have suffering. Otherwise there is no suffering."

- Fr. Anthony de Mello

...And Elephants

I have always loved Elephants because I find them to be mystical creatures. They strike me as wise and connected to the Earth, their environment, and their ancestors.
That's what intitially attracted me to this interesting post on a blog called Soul Surgery by Carol L. Skolnick.

The Post is called Taming and Befriending the Elephant, and I thought this post, was very keen because it adressed our reluctance to deal with issues that we anticipate and fear will be painful or shameful to confront. The irony is that it is this fear itself that causes all the suffering, not the actual issue itself.
I can relate this to the first and third principles of Instantaneous Transformation. The first principle states that "What you resist, persists, grows stronger and dominates your life." Just like the fear of whatever we are resisting facing. The third principle shows us how to break free because "what you allow to be exactly as it is, without judging it, will complete itself." For more information on the principles of Instantaneous Transformation, check out the links on the right.

Taming and Befriending the Elephant
You've heard the expression, "There's an elephant in the living room"? That purported pachyderm represents something huge that everyone knows about, yet no one wants to call attention to, for fear of setting off a stampede.

Most of us learn to pretend there's no elephant when we're very small. Maybe one parent is alcoholic, or having an affair. Big sister throws up after dinner, little brother seems blue lately, but "it's just a phase kids go through." We don't talk about these things, especially outside the family; we fear we could rock the boat, and lose our "happy" home.

Later in life, there may be other issues we're reluctant to acknowledge. If we're trying to keep status quo, we can end up not simply with an elephant in the room, but with bats in the belfry.

"This marriage isn't working, but we have to stay together for the kids, and pretend everything is okay for their sake."

"I'm sure everyone is aware there's something amiss at the office, but I'm not going to be the whistle blower; we all need our paychecks."

"Yeah, I did notice the bruises. She said she fell downstairs. Well, of course she seemed shaken, wouldn't you?"

Why do we pretend something is okay when it isn't—or, in extreme cases, that it doesn't even exist? Some possibilities:

1. Shame. What a terrible thing for the elephant to be here!
2. We believe so strongly that the "elephant" shouldn't be there that we can't even recognize it as an elephant.
3. If we see something as a problem it means we're "negative" or "unevolved."
4. We believe that if we told the truth, we could hurt someone.
5. Acknowledging a problem might cost us something (money, a relationship, reputation, peace in the house).
6. Maybe if we wait long enough, the problem will go away by itself.

Meanwhile the elephant is taking up a great deal of space. It trumpets loudly, it eats a lot, it's creating a mess, and there's always the possibility that it could get loose, run rampant, and stomp or smother us to death. This elephant feeds, not on peanuts, but on fear. Eventually, it may grow so large that we can no longer pretend it's not in the way.

That's a good thing...because the best way to handle an elephant in the living room is not by ignoring it. If it won't leave by itself (and trust me, it won't as long as there's something for it to feed upon), it's far more effective to recognize the elephant as an elephant and proceed from there.

The elephant is no larger, wilder, or all-consuming than our thoughts about it.

©2008 by Carol L. Skolnick; all rights reserved.

Fun Finder Event List Launched

I finally launched my new event email list.
If you live in the NY area and want to join us for diverse & dynamic events, sign up for Fun Finder and get fun delivered right to your inbox.

Way to Unreasonable Happiness

Dan Millman's book, The Way of the Peaceful Warrior, is an amazing journey of self-discovery and enlightenment. It was a very fluid read and an eye-opening experience. The author unveils that the way to Happiness is by being present along the journey. Every step of the journey is important. There are no ordinary moments. There is in actuality no hierarchy, just the illusion based on our preference. So our college graduation is not intrinsically better than the last day of vacation or garbage recycling day or even this very moment. It all matters, because "the Essence of Aliveness matters; the details do not." Beneath all circumstances, thoughts & emotions lies "the innate perfection of one's life unfolding. That is the secret of unreasonable happiness."

Another book I love that delves into the magic available in each moment as it unfolds is Being Here: Modern Day Tales of Enlightenment. Authors Ariel and Shaya Kane explain that if you trade in your preferences for the willingness to be in each moment as it actually is, you will be rewarded with extraordinary well-being. Since reading these works I have had many examples of "unreasonable happiness" in my own life. A recent 6+ hour wait in an airport in Costa Rica, which ended with a cancelled flight and an unexpected overnight stay, became a delightful adventure and an opportunity to set aside my preferences and have well-being. One had only to look at the faces of other passengers to see that this was not the common response to the situation. But as I have begun to engage in each moment, without prejudice, my life has opened up to unexpected sources of actual joy & well-being.

Thing a Week

My friend, Stephen, showed me this totally adorable video based upon a song composed & recorded by a wonderful artist, Jonathan Coulton. For those of you who have never heard of him, Coulton made himself a promise to compose & record one song a week for a year and post each one on his website, and he has been at it for many, many weeks. He calls it “Thing a Week.” I very much admire him because he is really going for his life with gusto and consistency. Coulton is also a very talented musician.

A catchy, cool song of his, Code Monkey, started a trend on Youtube about a year ago and is still going strong. Coulton first recorded the funny and touching song about a programmer in a nameless corporation and posted it on his website. Then an IT expert who works for Adobe made an animated video for the song, using images from videogames & put it on Youtube.
It started to draw a crowd, and this girl, Emily, found the song & made a pajama video of it (a pajama video is when someone dances around his/her bedroom in jammies lip-synching/dancing/interpreting a song in front of a webcam.)
Then Coulton gave a concert and found out Emily was in the audience by coi-incidence. He invited her on stage to re-enact her video as he played Code MOnkey. Anotherfan at the concert, filmed this and posted it on Youtube.

Now, I know there is a lot of pooh on the Internet in general, and Youtube in particular, but this is worth checking out.

Check it out in this order:

Original song + video made by “Spiffworld,” a fan who works at Adobe and spent lots of time animating a cool video for the song.

thh Emily’s pajama video of Code Monkey.

Emily performing her dance live at a Jonathan Coulton Concert in Chicago on December 8th.


I highly recommend that you check out Coulton’s website to hear more great tunes, like Tom Cruise Crazy, You ruined Everything, to hear more great music by Coulton.

Jonathan Coulton had a dream to make music & share it with people. He did not wait until his life circumstances showed up as "perfect." Instead he made a commitment to himself & his desire to create and he kept it. That's Transformation. He made no excuses. And he did it all while being a new Dad! Now I'm sure Coulton had lots of legitimate reasons to skip a week or two, but he chose not to take them and he kept his word.
And along the way, he created something wonderful and has become an inspiration for so many others. That's Transformation too.

Evolution of Dance

Behold, the Evolution of Dance...
What is most wonderful about this clip is how comedian Judson Laipply slides naturally from one dance into the next. He starts off with Elvis Presley and progresses all the way to NSYNC, hitting many musical milestones along the way. It's a very organic journey past Chuck Berry, Michael Jackson's Thriller, the Bangles' Walk Like an Egyptian, Mc Hammer, the Running Man, the Macarena and other favorites.

Santa Chronicles

Merry Merry Christmas!

Do you find it difficult to shop for presents for your loved ones? Stuck on what to get your colleagues or friends? Well imagine Santa's task! Santa deserves major points! Ever wonder what he's up to this time of year?

I invite you to check out a wonderful blog. It's called the Santa Claus Blog, and it is written by Santa. Yes, that guy. I had no idea how taxing his job is and all the different legal hurdles he has to go through to deliver his presents.

I love this blog, and I will be checking in all through the year.